Today, I was writing down all of my interests, and the top 3 all had to do with recovery in some form. Some of the items in my life that I have experienced are : Jesus Christ, Connecting with other Guys dealing with Relationships that involve addiction, and finally the area of physical health- specifically Lifting and Running. Today, I am starting a movement called ISI Connect- it stands for Iron Sharpening Iron- used as a way to connect with other men, who are desiring to grow Mentally and Physically. This platform will connect men who have been divorced, or are on the brink of divorce, to enter in a space that allows them to recover life the way it was meant for them. I will see which doors open, and I will walk through them. All of the things that will be contained in this platform will offer my experience, strength, and hope to all who would wish to join. How am I qualified? Glad you asked. See, I am only qualified by my personal experience, strength, and hope in this subject. As stated in a previous post, I have been through a heart wrenching divorce, I have been to 7 different counselors with my wife at the time, I have spent 8 years of my life up to this point attending almost 1,000 meetings, conventions all over the world, and countless hours of phone calls with other men who are hurting in these areas as well. In addition I have managed to increase my lifting in the squat area up to over 500 lbs. I am not saying all of this to brag, but I am saying this to relay that yes someone else has been down the path, had the struggle, and can understand your pain. The pain of going into church, and feeling like an outcast, the pain of losing a house to foreclosure, the pain of losing several businesses, the pain on being at the brink of bankruptcy. I qualify not on achievements, but on my experience, strength and hope.
Why Did My Wife Leave ME?
Here is what happened- One day, just heading into the counselors office, just fresh off of a vacation, I enter the room with the couples counselor. My wife entered the room I think after me. We sit down in front of him and right then she says ” I just want you to know that I have filed for divorce recently.” With that, within seconds, the Counselor remarked, ” Well, this marriage can be saved, are you sure about this?” With tear- filled eyes my spouse said “Yes”. At that point she got up, and left. We had been to a bunch of counselors over the course of our marriage already, but none seemed to work. Which leads me to a question- In a divorce- who is the most blame and how much blame should be assigned to each person? I think for me on this journey, that has been the biggest question I have asked. Next to, “Why ME Lord?”
Now don’t think I am not going to bring the Lord into this story. He is a part of it- not that I am preaching to you- I really am not. So if you have a problem with that just know I am not trying to ram that down your throat. I forgot to mention a few things about my story. First off, my wife was pregnant when the above meeting occurred. No, she didn’t get the child from another man, it was from me, that was proven the day my child was born- Exact image of me when they were born. Yes, I am not going to say he or she- I am about to disclose some pretty freakin personal stuff so privacy is of upmost importance right now. But so is transparency. Also, we were living in a house owned by her parents. Yes they owned it because of a LONG STORY. I may get into that later. So now, I am told my pregnant wife, who is due in a few months wants a divorce. I leave the counselors office, Numb. I get in my car, then I go back to our “house”. There was my wife, along with our other young child there as well. At that point I remember my wife telling me that she wouldn’t just kick me out right then, I would have a little while to pack.
Hello
The reason for this blog, is that first off, I am not going to use my real name- the reason is to protect my children, as well as there will be some things that I cover that are very personal and also very transparent. The reason for this blog is to reach the person who has struggled or who is struggling with being a single parent with children, a single parent that has dealt with addiction, also a single parent that has dealt with Divorce.
In the upcoming posts I will be covering topics that have influenced my life up to this point, that have given me great pain and heartache.
